Can you just be yourself?

What if you’re shy, terrified, tongue tied or just don’t come across well?

When I talk to people about engaging with an audience, either in person or on social media, the issue of authenticity often comes up.

It seems that some people think being “authentic” means you have to be yourself regardless. Warts and all sort of thing.

Being authentic doesn’t mean you can’t improve your communication skills. It means your values, ideals, and actions align.  You’re honest with yourself and with others, and you take responsibility for your actions. As a result, you come across as genuine and trustworthy – but you may still need to learn how to communicate in a way that engages people and doesn’t bore them to death.

You don’t need to change your values or sell your soul in order to be a more interesting speaker, to get your point across well, or even, (shock) learn to be entertaining and charismatic!

My friend Jon Torrens, and I are both introverts and have had to find ways to talk to lots of different people, because staying in the background isn’t always an option.  Jon took the extreme step of training to be a stand up comedian. I didn’t.

Jon says: 

“You know how some actors and comedians seem to be quite dull when they’re interviewed and they’re not in character, but sparkling and fun when they are? What if you could find a character that’s exactly right for you, so feels authentic, and guarantees you’ll never feel uninteresting again?” 

What character are you?

In movies, stories and video games, we all relate to the different characters. Ruthless, unpredictable, charismatic, creative people whose attributes we can briefly fantasise as actually being our own. We all infer a real life person’s character from only a few seconds’ observation – their walk, clothes and demeanour tell us all kinds of things about them.

First impressions count

Whether these things are accurate indicators of that person’s character is of course another matter, and that’s where the fun begins. What character are you? The clever thing to do is to discover a character that works for you – your ‘game face’ – and use it when appropriate to be most effective when communicating.

When you find one that is right, it has the benefit of being both natural and really interesting for other people to interact with. When you step into character it puts you in the frame of mind that helps you display the characteristic that really helps all communication: natural confidence.

Who do you imagine you are?

Asking this question of my network of business owners got some amazing (and sometimes hilarious) replies but also lots of head nodding as we could see the connection between people we know and the characters they would like to assume when they speak in public and shows that lots of people find this sort of exercise really useful.

Jon sees himself as Batman and often refers to me as “M” from the James Bond movies (played by Judi Dench, not Ralph Fiennes). Which character would you like to step into when you have to speak in public……..?

There is no need to be uninteresting

Some people are blessed with a natural charisma and some people have to work on it.

“Working on it” doesn’t mean you are putting on an act. It means you are looking for the most interesting way to communicate effectively.

It has never been easier to find an audience. Keeping them interested takes work.

Jon Torrens is a Communications Coach, helping people to become confident speakers and is huge fun to work with so give him a call if you’d like help.

Don’t hold back from making a great impression just because you don’t think you’re interesting enough!