Confidence can often trump capability due to the perception and social dynamics involved.

“Confidence burst into the room and boldly sat in Capability’s chair. He put his feet up on the table and dared us to say something. We glanced furtively at one another, but said nothing, because we didn’t know what Capability looked like.” Fiona Tribe

I work with lots of people who are extremely capable but lack confidence – and it really bugs them!

Confidence can convey capability even when it isn’t true: 

• Salespeople who are confident can persuade customers more effectively, even if they are not the most knowledgeable about the product. Confidence can instil trust and make the customer feel more comfortable making a purchase.
• A confident leader can inspire and motivate a team more effectively than a capable but hesitant one. Confidence in decision-making can foster a sense of security and direction among team members.
• Confident speakers are more likely to engage and persuade their audience, regardless of their level of expertise on the subject matter. The delivery and presence can be more impactful than the content itself.
• In networking events or social gatherings, confident people are more likely to make connections and leave a lasting impression, even if they are not the most knowledgeable or skilled person in the room.
• Confidence can be a powerful tool in negotiations, where the ability to assert one’s position and maintain composure can lead to better outcomes than relying solely on facts and figures.

The good news?

Confidence is a skill. It can be learned.

“Fake it ‘Till You Make it” is a popular strategy for building confidence by acting as though you’re confident. You know your stuff – now act as though you do.

Here are some things that help capable people become (or appear to be) more confident:

Learn to act.
Imagine how many roles good actors play and start to play a version of yourself that is confident as well as capable – an unbeatable combination. People believe what they see so it doesn’t matter if you’re quaking inside. Other people can’t see your feelings – if you look confident, they’ll believe you are.

Stop comparing yourself to others.
Remember when you compare yourself to others that what you see may be far from the truth!

Create strong, clear boundaries.
Say no to things you don’t want to do (you don’t have to give a reason or an excuse). Make your expectations clear and speak up when someone crosses the line.

Learn what confident body language looks like.
Copy people who look confident – how do they stand, sit, and walk?
Make and maintain eye contact during conversations. Use open and controlled hand movements to emphasize points.

Look the part
How you look can significantly impact your self-perception and how others perceive you. Think of it like an actor putting on a costume – until you feel confident enough that it doesn’t matter.

Check your language.
Do you apologise when you start to speak? Do you have verbal ticks that make you sound nervous? Practice speaking clearly and plainly.

Imposter syndrome.
What many people call imposter syndrome is really just self-doubt and is perfectly normal. By acting as though you’re confident you’ll start to feel more confident and then what started out as acting will become real!

Next time Confidence sits in your chair and puts his feet on the table, politely and firmly tell him he’s in the wrong place and take it for yourself!

Image: A sculpture of a prowling tiger made from red and white striped foil coverings from Tunnocks Tea Cakes by Scottish artist David Mach.