5 Easy Steps on How to make an Impact
When people meet you for the first time, how do they see you?
How do you make sure they take notice of you, trust you, want to know you and recommend you to their friends?
My friend Jon Torrens is an introvert. He trained to be a stand up comedian and now teaches people to make a great impression but still struggles with walking into a room full of strangers and making small talk.
Jon teaches people to identify or create a character they can step into so that this becomes easier. He enters a room as Batman. I’m Bond’s ‘M’ (played by Judy Dench – not Ralph Fiennes). We make a great double act.
Another friend, Rob Birnie, was a radio presenter for many years and made lots of public appearances – but he was usually facilitating other people’s performances. He recently commented: “Stick me on a stage in front of a few hundred people and I’ll walk it. Plonk me in a party and I’ll crumble.”
Most people who get to know the real me are amazed that I’ll do anything to avoid meeting new people, especially in a crowd. I can only bear it if I’m in charge of the meeting and put the spotlight firmly on other people and choose exactly what my role will be. I hate talking about myself.
Many actors and comedians are in their element on stage but struggle in chat shows where they’re expected to sparkle as themselves.
There is a lot of talk about the benefits of authenticity and “being ourselves” but if your natural self inclines you to avoid making a good first impression you may miss a lot of opportunities, not just in business but in making friends, and being a role model.
If you feel this way you may never get completely comfortable being in the spotlight but there are ways you can make the best of it.
Remember:
People don’t see your beliefs.
They don’t know what you’re thinking.
They’re not aware of your emotions.
The only thing they notice is your BEHAVIOUR
For thousands of years, actors have been making us believe in them by displaying the BEHAVIOUR of the kind of person they want to portray.
What happens in their personal lives doesn’t affect their performance.
They are often insecure as individuals but still deliver great, believable performances.
They often do it eight times a week for hundreds of weeks with great consistency.
They can portray characters that are totally unlike themselves with enormous conviction.
How does this help an ordinary person who wishes to create an impact?
Easy! We can copy what the best actors do.
Five Easy Steps on How to Make an Impact
- Define the role you want to play, e.g. charismatic leader, honest salesperson, trustworthy consultant, creative designer, useful team player
- Define the qualities a person in this role displays, e.g. charm, authority, consideration, tact, etc.
- Take each quality and work out what you need DO with your body to show those qualities, e.g to display consideration you may need to show that you are actively listening. What does a person who is actively listening DO? They make eye contact, lean forward and nod.
Repeat this process for each quality until you know exactly how to DO what a person in your chosen role would DO. - Practice. Practice until you can step into a role and become your behaviour. (Physical actions trigger emotions and create beliefs)
- Be the best version of yourself that you want to be – consistently.
If you want to explore how you can make a great impact in real life or on-line, lets have a chat!
In many ways it’s all about going back to your target audience and working through the tactics you need to put into play to achieve your goals. That said, it’s much easier said than done. I think I’d step back a bit here and say identify the behaviour you need and then seek to produce that behaviour; however, if you can’t the element of self-awareness that comes into this kind of approach should help you find help or guidance to get you to where you want to be.
(One of my favourite radio plays is Burton reading Under Milkwood)
@jonbuscall That’s really interesting Jon. I often talk to people about the difference between being self-conscious – shy or embarrassed and not usually desirable, and self-awareness which is so necessary in order to interact well with others.
Although this post is about physical presence I think your comment applies equally to making an impact in writing or audio. You have to decide on the relationship you want to create and who are you are to your audience.
@jonbuscall Forgot to say that I adore Burton reading Under Milkwood. He’s one of the few people who can ‘sound’ the phrase “The sloe black, slow black sea”