Creating win-win situations

A few years ago I read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey and thought how much the idea of creating win-win situations could change the way things are done.

Thinking Win-Win isn’t about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique.

It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration.

Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition.

We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing; if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose.

Life becomes a zero-sum game.

The thinking is that if there is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me; it’s not fair, and I’m going to make sure you don’t get anymore.

We all play the game, and some people seem to enjoy it but its often not the most effective way to get things done.

What if we worked together to make a bigger pie?

Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty good!

A person with a  win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits:
Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments
Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others
Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone

Many people think in terms of either/or.

Either you’re nice or you’re tough.

Win-win requires that you be both.

It is a balancing act between courage and consideration.

To go for win-win, you not only have to have empathy with the other person, you also have to be confident.

You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you also have to be brave.

To do that, to achieve that balance between courage and consideration, is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win.