People who don’t like us are unlikely to buy from us.

It’s a stark truth but one that every small business owner is familiar with. People buy “us” first.

I just read a book, set in the 1950’s in which one of the characters was an old style salesman, trying to sell jars of pickled herrings to shop owners. He explained how it worked like this …

“I learned that it was never about the bloody herrings. The herrings were the least important part of the whole thing. Always, every time, it was about whether I could make a connection with the person I was talking to, in that couple of minutes I was hovering there with the case open. If they liked you, if they enjoyed you, maybe they’d buy. If they didn’t, they definitely wouldn’t. And that, you see, is what I carried away from that situation. You need to be likeable.”

This doesn’t mean you have to try to get everybody to like you, but if you really want to sell to someone you need to find a way to make a connection. The best way to do that is to be interested in them as people, not as prospects. It’s never about trying to get them interested in you.

The pickled herring salesman goes on to say:
“There’s always that resistance resistance to get past. But the trick of it stays the same: make a connection, build a relationship. First Law, my friend. Everything Is Personal. Everything – is – personal. Because friends look after friends; and when you’re with me, you aren’t just friends with the people you do business with direct, you’re friends with everyone I’m friends with. And that’s enough people, I promise you, to solve virtually any problem you may have. So tell me, – what are you worrying about, just now? What can I help you with?’”

Here, he perfectly explains why we are valuable to each other. Building a network of people who like us means that, even if they don’t need what we’re selling, they’ll recommend us to others – and we of course, do the same.

Learning to be interested in other people and how to ask good questions are some of the most important business skills we can develop.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you should try to get everybody to like you – that would mean you have forgotten who you really are and what you stand for. Shared values are one of the strongest links between people and so you need to be clear about what yours are and be be happy to walk away from people who are not someone you’d be proud to know.

For more on this topic see:
How Good Are Your People Skills?
No-body really cares about what you do until they care about who you are.
Are you Vanilla or Marmite?
Or, of course, if you have any questions about this or anything else to do with running your business and making more profit, just contact me!