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When do you decide to change?

 

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Photo RL Hyde

To make changes, what you need are some new friends and new habits!

It’s been said we are a combination of the 5 people we spend most time with. 

Look at the people you hang out with all of the time. its likely that your eating habits, overall health, wealth, and levels of success are similar. What does that mean when you want to make changes?

We can’t change in isolation. Everything we do affects the people around us so this means that if you want to change, either your friends need to change with you or you need to associate with different people.

Most things happen without a plan. Many of them are good things: friendships, falling in love, finding great music, food or art, or things that make you laugh. Spontaneity and serendipity are important.

However, if you want to achieve something it means making space in your life and taking action until you’ve created new habits that become an integral part of your life.

If you’ve struggled to stick to a plan to achieve your goals (and who hasn’t?) it may be useful to think of goals in these two very different ways.

A RESULT oriented goal would be to lose a stone in weight by a particular date. This can sometimes result in embarking on a plan of action that you hate and you have to grit your teeth every day to move closer to your goal.

A PROCESS oriented goal would be to eat healthily and exercise every day and because you focus on the process you are more likely to choose one that you enjoy and can keep at until it turns into a new life habit. An important point about this is that however much you want the result, if you hate the process you are unlikely to succeed. Finding a process that is enjoyable is the best way to achieve any goal.

How long does it take to make a new habit?

The popular view is that it takes 21 days to create a new habit but a new book by psychologist Jeremy Dean  “Making Habits, Breaking Habits: How to Make Changes That Stick” reveals that this figure is wrong. Dean’s research shows that the length of time it takes to create a new habit varies enormously so don’t beat yourself up and don’t give up if the new habits don’t come easily.

You don’t have to do alone.

There are four crucial people that you need to have on your team in order to make the changes you’ve identified:

A Mentor – This is someone you know who has had success in the areas in which you want to be successful.  If you’re unfit and want to be healthy and strong, find somebody who used to be unfit and is now healthy and strong and find out how they did it. (Remember you have to like the process or it won’t work for you).  If you want to earn more, learn to sing, open a shop, win a medal, find somebody who has had that experience and learn EVERYTHING you can about how they did it.

A Buddy – This is someone who is struggling with the same things, working on the same stuff as you.  When you have a bad day, this person knows exactly how you feel.  Because you’re both striving for the same goals, you have somebody to bounce ideas around with, share triumphs and struggles with. Caution: don’t take the buddy support as far as going down the plughole together. Understanding its hard doesn’t mean you support each other in giving up.

A Student – The BEST way to get better at something is to teach it to somebody else.  If you think you need to be an expert in order to teach, think of expertise on a scale of 1- 100. If you’re a 5 you can help out the 1-4′s.  Find somebody that needs help, maybe a co-worker or friend who wants to do what you’re doing and teach them how to get started.  As you get better and learn from your mentor, you can then compare are share this with your buddy and then help teach it to your student.

A Cheerleader – This is the person who will always be in your corner, cheering you on. They’ll believe in you more than you believe in yourself, have high expectations, keep you on your toes, push you outside of your comfort zone, make you try new things, not let you settle for less, dust you off when you fall and push you back out there.

The best year of your life is within reach if you focus on creating new habits. The first step is to begin.

You can make lasting changes by working with me to grow your business. Send me an email right now and we can talk about how to get started.

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