Scratch my back, I'll scratch yours

This week I got several spammy emails asking me if I was taking on new clients and if so would I accept this invitation to join something called Referral Key.

Referral Key is a web site that “allows you to tap into your contacts’ networks and track referrals to increase reciprocity”

The sub text is that the owners of Referral Key have a never ending supply of punters to sell their membership services to after the first 3 free referrals are used up.

In other words you load all your contacts from Outlook onto the website and send them all the same spammy email and then everyone who accepts the invitation does the same. If you join, you track the referrals you get and score people on how many referrals they’ve sent you compared to how many you’ve sent them (!)

I’ve always had a problem with the idea of referrals and reciprocity or rewards.

Call me simple but if someone I know could do with the services of someone else I know I’ll introduce them. I don’t want or expect any rewards for doing that.
Most of my work comes from referrals but I don’t bribe, browbeat or guilt trip expect or offer to pay directly or indirectly for those referrals. I sometimes send a thank you gift but no-one knows about it except the people involved.

What I don’t do necessarily is reciprocate with a referral unless there is a very, very good match.

Am I being too simplistic? Do you have to think you’re gonna get something back before you send someone a referral? Isn’t it more powerful if there is no coercion involved? Shouldn’t you be able to rely on being bloody good at what you do in order to get referrals or is it all down to “I’ll scratch your back only if you scratch mine”?