Posts Tagged ‘Conflicts’
Overcoming Obstacles to Success
What obstacles do you face in the pursuit of success?
Andy Gibney made it to Silver Medallist in the World Championship Stick Fighting competition. He was already British Champion and fully expected to become World Champion.
Undeterred, he entered the competition the following year and ended up as….. Silver Medallist again.
The experience of ‘not quite making it’ is one that resonates with many people, especially those who start their own businesses.
What is interesting is what we choose to do about it.
Do we settle for less or do we explore other ways to get what we really want?
Do we stick with what is comfortable or push ourselves into those places where we’re not quite sure what might happen?
One of Andy’s physical demonstrations showed quite clearly that when we focus on a problem (a weakness) rather than on a solution we can expect a very different result.
Try this exercise:
Choose which of these is most important to you:
Health Freedom Security Success Comfort Adventure Contribution Loyalty Knowledge Intimacy Honesty Power Love Passion
When you have done that, go back through the list and choose the second most important and then the third – make sure you write them down.
Now look at this list and choose which one you take care to avoid experiencing at all costs:
Frustration Depression Humiliation Rejection Guilt Failure Loneliness Anger
As before, go back through the list and choose the second and the third emotions that you would take care to avoid experiencing.
Now compare your lists.
If there is a conflict in the things you seek and the things you try to avoid you will experience difficulties in achieving what you say or believe you want.
Resolving these conflicts and understanding what you REALLY want is the key to success (whatever that means to you).
Posted in 12 Steps to Success | 
Tags: Andy Gibney, Anger, British Champion, Communication Methods, Conflicts, Demeanour, Demonstrations, Depression, Different Path, Dr Marshall, Dr Richard, Emotions, European Champions, Freedom Security, Frustration, Guilt, Health Freedom, Honesty, Humiliation, Intimacy, Loneliness, Loyalty, Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication, Overcoming Obstacles, Paul Mckenna, Physical Manifestations, Regional Champions, Rejection, Richard Bandler, Silver Medallist, World Champion, World Champions | 
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Win-Win
Creating win-win situations
(or, you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours!)
When I worked in the printing industry many moons ago the prevailing culture was one of conflict. The management thought it was great to get the five trades unions fighting each other and it was hardly surprising that the whole industry collapsed.
A few years later I read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey and thought how much the idea of creating win-win situations would have changed the way things were done. Since then I’ve tried to create win-win situations in most things that I do.
THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE
HABIT 4: THINK WIN-WIN
Think Win-Win isn’t about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration.
Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing–that is, if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. There is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me; it’s not fair, and I’m going to make sure you don’t get anymore. We all play the game, but how much fun is it really?
Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good!
A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits:
Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments
Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others
Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone
Many people think in terms of either/or: either you’re nice or you’re tough. Win-win requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and consideration. To go for win-win, you not only have to be empathic, but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you also have to be brave. To do that–to achieve that balance between courage and consideration–is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win.
Posted in 12 Steps to Success, Inspiration | Tags: 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, Abundance Mentality, Balancing Act, Character Traits, Commitments, Conflicts, Courage, Frame Of Mind, Habit, Human Interaction, Human Interactions, Many Moons, Maturity, Mutual Benefit, Networker, Operative Approach, Printing Industry, Self Worth, Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey, True Feelings, Zero Sum Game | No Comments »
