Whenever  something “always” happens to you, you can relax.

It means that you are completely in charge of that situation.

Always late?
Hmmm, let’s see now… From near or far, summer or winter, rush hour or not, alone or with others and to various destinations, and you “all-ways” manage to neutralize all of the variables so that you arrive late – even to on-line meetings.
Always.

Just managing on the income you have?
Prices go up, prices go down. Things go on sale, appliances wear down and break. Cars need repairs. And so on. Yet you just just manage to get by on your income.
Always.

NOT managing on the income you have?
You alway manage to be down a certain amount of money each month. And then something happens to make up the difference at the last minute.
Always.

People always treating you in a certain (un)acceptable way? 
That would be old people, young people, good people, people you hardly know, people with different backgrounds and so on. What do they all have in common? You.
Always you.

Always get the flu at Christmas? 
You are so flexible that you can actually stay in the same state. You neutralize all the variables in an unconscious way. So unconscious that you don’t even realize the subtleties of you own actions. Yet there is simply no denying the repetitive-ness (and effectiveness!) of your own actions.
Always.

Why?

Why do we continue to find ourselves in unwanted repetitive cycles and behaviors? These are often learned behaviours, usually coping strategies to keep us safe and deal with difficult situations.  Somewhere along the way in life you may have learned that doing these behaviors helped to relieve distress.  The goal now is to break unwanted cycles by replacing those behaviors with positive coping strategies and tools.

Choose one of the more obvious “always” things in your life. Determine the benefit of continuing it. Then give yourself that benefit and that “always” will vanish.

For example, if you are always late, this may come from a fear of not wasting time by arriving somewhere early and having nothing to do. Give yourself the benefit of “not wasting time” by bringing some work, a book or project with you that you can work on while you wait for a meeting to begin or other people to arrive at an event.

Just managing or not managing on your income may come from a situation where whenever you had a surplus someone would “borrow” it or in some way relieve you of it, or it could be that having “extra” money will bring you unwanted attention that could be fixed by dropping certain people from your life.

“Always” getting flu at Christmas and having to go to bed instead of joining in the celebrations could be fixed by taking a holiday and getting away on your own or just with people you enjoy being with.

Whatever the behaviour is that keeps you stuck, think about what its protecting you from, find a different way to do that and the unwanted behaviour won’t be necessary.

Post inspired by George Raynault