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Thoughts become things – choosing the good ones

The Thinker Thoughts become things   choosing the good ones How true is it that thoughts become things?

A guest post from  Dr Chris Thomas www.miltoncontact.co.uk

When Ann reminded me about her 2010 article “Thoughts do not become things” (http://goo.gl/SMabr) in a recent tweet, she was railing against those who use trite phrases to promise the earth such as “Thoughts become things – choose the good ones”.  Ann was angry at the feelings of guilt caused by psycho-babble remedies that are the quackery of the modern age.

Yet, underlying the simplistic concept is a more complex, fascinating and surprising reality. It is a tale that weaves its way from the very origins of our humanity, via mental sex to survival in a hard business environment. I’d like to debate for “Thoughts become Things – choose the good ones”.

Physical thoughts

The ability to have thoughts is not unique to humans. There is even evidence that animals are capable of a higher level of thought – thinking about thinking (http://goo.gl/mNrK9). However, combined with language, we humans are able to take thinking to a more complex and abstract level.

Many of our internal thoughts are still related to our physical and emotional needs. In turn, our thoughts have physical effects on us. The most immediate are the subtle micro-expressions in conversation (try reading them yourself here http://goo.gl/Fpp5I).

 

The impact of our thoughts has more profound effects on our bodies.
 We react positively if given a “medical” treatment, even if it is just sugar water, the so-called placebo effect (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Placebo ). Taken to the other extreme, thoughts can kill. Studies on bereavement show that a small but significant proportion of the remaining partners die due to the “Black Dog” of depression (http://goo.gl/Oq2H0).

 

Mind you, thoughts alone can create orgasmic experiences.  Kim Airs is not unique in this (http://goo.gl/CWXpM) as other women and many hormonally-fired teenage boys can testify.

 

Optimism accounts for a 5 to 10 % difference in outcome such as cardiovascular disease, depression, cancer and are less likely to have or develop certain diseases over time (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optimism ). In cases where optimism does not appear to have an effect on health, it helps with coping strategies.

Abstract thoughts

We also have an incredible ability to build mental worlds.  Mathematics and the sciences are logical constructs that try to make sense of our physical world. Euclid’s “Elements of Geometry” (http://goo.gl/b4a2t) or Darwin’s “On the Origin of Species” (http://goo.gl/8uXof) are just two examples of abstract thought put to paper.

The world’s religions and philosophies are thought structures too, based on belief and metaphysical factors.

Explosive thoughts

The most explosive effects of our thoughts are – when we share them with others. Our ideas are challenged, changed and evolved out there in the wider world  – or they can die. Richard Dawkins coined the word “memes” for ideas, behaviours and styles that spread from person to person in our cultures (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meme ).

Thoughts also lead to actions. You are reading this article on a device that is the product of several thousand years of applied science and technology. On the flip side, the idea that women are not equal to men has disenfranchised half the population in significant parts of the globe.

Thoughts become things

Thoughts are such an integral part of us right from birth that our thoughts make us who we are. Because we are humans, our thoughts collectively make our environment, our society, our culture, our businesses.

By our sheer existence, our thoughts become things, no matter how small or how significant.
It therefore does matter what what thoughts we consciously choose to make a part of us.

Choose the good ones – What are they?

This is where I find myself back in partial agreement with Ann, because there are thoughts and there are thoughts. Here is my personal interpretation:

 

ñ  There is no universal thought cure-all – but we can learn from the experience of others.

ñ  A wish for something to happen is unlikely to work – but we can have our own aspirations or goals to strive for.

ñ  Unpredictable bad things happen, whatever we think – but having our own flexible, positive coping strategies can help us recover faster.

 

I can give you my thoughts as an opinion or example, but ultimately you have to decide how and what the good ones are that work for you.

Business Thoughts

Taking the subject to a more practical level. As businesses, our thoughts are realised in our products and services. We have a pretty prompt reality check – if our ideas do not work, we can be out of business!

The Inspired Group provides a forum for those of us who wish to grow and develop their businesses by sharing experiences and ideas. It is up to us which of our conscious thoughts become things – and choosing the good ones is a bespoke lifetime project for each one of us.

What do you think?

Chris Thomas  www.miltoncontact.co.uk

Is Mary Portas bottom line in the red?

unionjackpantsimages 150x150 Is Mary Portas bottom line in the red?

Will Kinky Knickers become a viable business?

I had intended to write about each of the three episodes of Mary’s Bottom Line, the TV programme funded by Channel 4 about retail guru Mary Portas and her attempt to revive British garment manufacturing by producing a range of British made knickers.

I found myself so underwhelmed by the programmes that are lacking anything even vaguely resembling a real business that I was overcome by ennui – hence the delay and only two posts.

With space for reflection and a look at the wider picture there are lessons for us ordinary business mortals in the swamp of emotional super hype that brings in TV ratings.

Let people do the job you hire them for.

As predicted in the first episode, the unfortunate misfit apprentice was sacked. The young woman’s behaviour apparently “put the whole enterprise at risk” but it was actually Mary’s insistence that she was hired, against all the advice of her staff, that posed the real risk.
The lesson all business owners can learn from this is if you hire people to do a job they need to be allowed to do it, even if this means making mistakes. Our job is to help them learn from mistakes, not prevent them from happening. A business owner who swoops in and overrules decisions will never grow a competent and committed team. When the boss’s decision turns out to be a big mistake it doesn’t do a lot for credibility or morale.

Communicate, delegate and check

After interfering in a delegated task, Mary then went to the other extreme and abdicated responsibility. While she swanned around getting orders and hugs from high profile bosses of retail chains (can you imagine the publicity if they’d said *no*?) and rocked up at No 10 to get a personal assurance from the PM that he would “do everything in his power” to make sure the ‘Made in Britain’ status was granted, her workers were languishing without essential supplies.
They were waiting for her decisions. She assumed they were getting on with it.
Delegation is an art and requires clear communication and checks.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket

Also flagged up in the first episode was that the only remaining manufacturer of stretch lace in the UK would manage to muck up the order and, yes, you’ve guessed it “put the whole enterprise at risk”. The lesson from this is to plan for all eventualities.
Having one supplier of critical services or products is risky. Having one person in your business who is indispensible is risky. More than fire, flood, computer crashes or other risks, the risk of *one* is the greatest. Always try to have a back up.

Plan, plan and plan some more

Only after the staff had been hired, the patterns made, the lace ordered and the production started did the critical process of pricing and branding (apparently) take place.
There are business plans and business plans. The sort that is concocted with the aid of a crystal ball to get funding or investment at the start of a venture usually never sees the light of day after its purpose has been accomplished but that doesn’t mean that other plans, real, live, working plans aren’t needed and used on a daily basis to keep the enterprise on track.

Business is about making the numbers work

Its easy to get caught up in the emotional roller coaster, the urge to do good, to make a difference and power an idea through with sheer chutzpah and force of personality. True entrepreneurs are ace at this. People respond to emotions: they’ll follow you, throw their commitment in to your idea and buy into your passion but if the numbers don’t stack up, the business will fail, no matter how many people are passionate about it.
Profit is the only measure of a successful business.
Mary has a business partner who does the behind the scenes planning an managing. The factory she is using has a managing director and a team of number crunchers. Being a figurehead is great, being an entrepreneur or a visionary is great but most of the success of a business comes from the very unglamorous careful planning and managing of resources.

It remains to be seen if the knicker factory can make a profit under its own steam when the Chanel 4 funding and TV publicity runs out.
The initial stocks have sold out, there are no Kinky knickers (the brand name) in stores at the moment so the huge push to get it going could be wasted or could just be waiting for the steady flow of stock to re-commence.

Spot trends

One of the really positive lessons to come out of this programme is the importance of spotting trends and jumping on bandwagons. We too often use historical evidence to plan our business tactics. We look at past trends, what sold, what worked and try to replicate it but the stroke of genius comes when we can spot a future trend and exploit it as it unfolds.
It seems that there is a real resurgence of manufacturing in the UK as materials, labour and transport costs make manufacturing abroad less cost effective.
It may be that there really will be a revival – a trend that started before this show was made, but guess who will get the kudos? Maybe the final lesson is:

Be an opportunist

What are your views – leave me a comment below!

Related post:  The holes in Mary Portas’ knickers 

 

 

The holes in Mary Portas’ knickers

unionjackpantsimages 150x150 The holes in Mary Portas knickers

“Let’s revive British manufacturing”

So shouts Mary Portas, striking a pose for the cameras in her new TV show Mary’s Bottom Line (read all about it here http://www.maryportas.com/bottomline/)

Mary is passionate and persuasive and appeals to every emotion any decent human being can relate to as she strides through a deprived area of Manchester rescuing unemployed people and an unloved factory by manufacturing “Made in Britain” knickers.

The programme is the usual mix of ‘business lessons’ and entertainment that we’ve come to expect from this type of show but what can ordinary (i.e. not celebrity) business folk learn from Mary’s latest exploits?

Market research

Mary does her market research by agreeing with a high end French lingerie manufacturer that “people these days buy less but pay more for quality” and by guilt tripping shoppers in the high street into admitting they would pay more for British made knickers. Really? Most of them had no idea where the knickers they were wearing came from so maybe when the cameras aren’t running it’s not such an issue for them.

Hiring the right staff

A snaking line of 400 applicants is reduced to eight apprentices but not before covering the usual sob-stories that seem to be compulsory on all reality TV shows. 

Despite the huge number of people to choose from, Mary insists on taking on one girl who has neither the right attitude not the skills to do the job.

Now, conflict makes for good TV but it doesn’t make for good business and I suspect in following shows there will be showdowns and shouting with echoes of other shows where a misfit is made a scapegoat for the sake of TV drama with nor thought for their subsequent welfare.

For me, employing people should be about doing what’s right for both the business and the employee and not about exploitation, whether it’s for profit or TV ratings.

 

The supply chain

Having got her workforce set up Mary then apparently realises that she doesn’t have the British made lace she needs to produce the knickers. The TV audience is treated to a dash around Nottingham as Mary hunts down the only manufacturer of stretch lace left in Britain and gets him to agree to supply her enterprise. 

A preview of next week’s show hints that this arrangement is doomed. Maybe in the real world the supply chain would take a higher priority ….

 

Leaving aside the manipulation that is necessary to make a good TV show, is this idea cynically exploiting a deep seated desire to revive British manufacturing? Is Mary paving a road for those less famous to follow? If her knickers didn’t have this huge TV exposure that no normal manufacturer could afford, would they ever get to market?  What do you think?

More next week as Mary settles on a name for her knickers, sorts out the branding and chooses a model bum to show them off.

Related post: Will Kinky Knickers become a viable business? 

Networking – time to move on.

you scratch my back 300x225 Networking   time to move on. More and more business networks are popping up but there is a quiet revolution going on in the way they are working.

I just saw someone tweeting from an event, saying they’d connected with the speaker on LinkedIn and were carrying on the discussion. At the same event, delegates were using a hashtag (this symbol # that creates a clickable link on Twitter) to tweet about the event, connect with each other and share pictures and slides from the presentations with people who couldn’t be there.

This is networking.

These people all have a common interest, established immediately. No-one did an elevator pitch and no-one swapped business cards or asked for referrals. No breakfast was partaken. The connections will be strengthened or fade according to the individual’s preferences, needs and interests.

The organisers of the event did nothing to facilitate this, except, when pushed, suggest the hashtag. They could have made much more of it, and possibly increased attendance, by inviting people to use it when they registered to connect with other delegates before the event and create a buzz about what was happening – but that’s another story.

The real story here is that business networking has moved on.

Savvy folk are using new ways to connect with interesting people and build relationships using social NETWORKING platforms like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and MeetUp to network effortlessly, sometimes in very innovative ways, and at no cost. The trick is to see it as social NETWORKING and not social media or marketing. That means using your own name and picture in your profiles and not your business name and logo.

 

Some organise casual “tweet-ups”, some have regular meetings with no little or no ritual and they all offer on-line connections as well as face to face meetings at little or no cost.

With on-line profiles no-one needs an elevator pitch.

We’ve always been told that networking isn’t about selling and yet encouraged to introduce ourselves at traditional organisations with an elevator pitch. With on-line profiles no-one needs an elevator pitch. Everyone can see what you do, so they get straight to the much more important bit of establishing who you are and what values you share.
Networking is a human activity that was hijacked by business organisations. Now it’s back in the hands of the individual and freely available to everyone.

 

Some examples I’ve come across, local to me are:

Huntingdon Business Women: approx 100 members, no committee, no fees, uses LinkedIn, highly supportive monthly meetings.

The LikeMinded Network St Neots: – over 100 members, no membership fees, uses MeetUp, Facebook and organises business and social events.

Cambs Mums Business Clubs: – over 170 members, children welcome at meetings, uses Facebook, blogging and a special Twitter #BizMumQTime every evening to answer questions.

CamCreative: – over 750 members, no fees, uses MeetUp for monthly meetings.

The Inspired Group: – (my own group – evolved over six years) no members, no fees except for events but approx 4,000 connections worldwide. Discussions on LinkedIn, #binspired on Twitter, blogs, free programmes, highly interactive and supportive.

Huntingdonshire Business Network:  This network is over 20 years old but embraces the use of LinkedIn and Meetup and uses the hashtag #HBNEvent to support discussions from members and non-members alike.

Are you moving on with your networking? If you’ve got any other examples of networking moving on, I’d love to hear about them!

Related posts:

Five tips for making networking fun

How to avoid being boring 

Seductive Networking 

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Cupping, or how to break into a conversation

4447396849 8b8677e178 s Cupping, or how to break into a conversation

You’re at a networking meeting and you want to talk to someone who is in a tight knit little group.

What do you do?

Do you hover and hope one of them will spot you and let you in?

Do you interrupt the conversation?

Cupping* provides a neat solution.

Simply cup the elbow of anyone in the group. They will automatically turn towards you, giving the opportunity to smile winningly and say, “May I join you?”

(If you are a normal polite human being you will notice when someone is hovering and invite them to join in your conversation so this tactic should never be necessary.)

*Other forms of cupping are available.

How do you break into huddles at networking meetings?

What ‘s the most innovative way to use a great testimonial?

Youre fab What s the most innovative way to use a great testimonial? Liz Weston of Weston Communications  had just received a great testimonial from a client and we were discussing innovative ways to use it, other than the obvious; ” stick on your website”.

Here are some ideas we came up with (some of them weren’t printable!)

Print it

Frame it

Hang it on the office wall

Paper the loo with it

Put it in your marketing pack

Have it tattooed on your arm

Have it printed on gift boxes and use them for client gifts

Have it printed on cup-cake papers and take them, with cakes, to your next networking event

What other ideas are there? Leave us your suggestions below!

 

Steps to Success 2: How does our self belief affect our chances of success?

16234 181932434219 510784219 3141398 5699641 n 150x150 Steps to Success 2: How does our self belief affect our chances of success?

 If you have a burning desire to be, do or have something and you’re not working towards it, chances are you’re being held back by a lack of self belief.

 

Most successful people acknowledge that self belief plays a big part in their achievements. At a very superficial level this makes a lot of sense for why would anyone attempt something if they didn’t think they could succeed? 

However, if this thought is carried to its logical conclusion it would mean that successful people never take any risks and this is clearly not the case.

Some of the most successful people I’ve met are those who, at some point in their lives, lost everything. They put their success down to the fact that they already know that if things go wrong, they will cope and come back to fight another day.

And yet, through lack of self belief, most people consistently choose unhappiness over uncertainty. You can prove this for yourself. Just ask everyone you know (including yourself)

“What would you do if you knew without doubt that you could not fail?”

Then ask, “So why aren’t you doing it?” The answer is always, “Because it MIGHT fail”

We do less than we could because what we fear most is our imagined failure. 

People who have experienced real failure don’t fear it anymore. They know it won’t kill them.

There’s a lot of talk about what we learn from failure, but the real lesson, the most important lesson, is self belief. When there’s nothing else left – we learn to believe in ourselves.

If we only get confidence and self belief from our successes, we are out of luck when we fail. We need to get resilience and confidence from both success and failure.

The worst thing is letting this fear get the best of us and not even giving something a good shot and then ending up in between – not achieving what we want yet not completely failing, as we didn’t really try. 

“We’re hoping to succeed; we’re okay with failure. We just don’t want to land in between.” 

–David Chang

Go back to your own definition of success: When you are successful how will you ‘be’? What will you do? What will you have?

What is stopping you from being, doing and having what you want? Whatever it is, imagine for a moment that you’ve been given the wrong information; that the messages that imply that your endeavours will result in failure were really meant for someone else and that you should have got the one that said, “It doesn’t matter whether you succeed or fail, what matters is that you try. No harm will come to you from trying.”

Now go and make a start.

Whether you prefer the ubiquitous slogan “Just do it” or the more esoteric quote sometimes attributed to Goethe “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it”, please know that self belief grows from experiencing both success and failure and, safe in this knowledge, you can now go and build your self belief, your self confidence, your self esteem and your chances of success. 

This is part two of our Steps to Success Series. A discussion on the subject can be found on LinkedIn here: http://lnkd.in/CpFtke Details of all the 12 Steps to Success can be found here

Step 1 Desire is the Starting Point to all Achievement

Steps to Success 1: Desire is the starting point

16234 181932199219 510784219 3141365 5036600 n 150x150 Steps to Success 1: Desire is the starting pointWhat is it you truly desire to be, do or have in your life?

Success means very different things to different people so the first step in achieving success has to be to decide what this means to you. Knowing where to put your focus and your efforts is crucial and a great help when it comes to making everyday decisions.  A great exercise to get some clarity is in the preceding post “How to Create Your Best Year” 

Can you complete these sentences?

When I am successful

I am (a state of being) ….

I do (activities) ….

I have (possessions) ….

It is safe to say that if you are not already being, doing and have what you desire, you are going to have to make some changes and this is where many of us run into trouble because we can’t change in isolation. As soon as we start to make changes we affect those around us and our environment and we often hit a brick wall and decide maybe its easier, safer, better to stay as we are. Exit our dreams and desires.

In the 1970’s Dr Clare Graves, expanding on the work of Maslow, developed a table of eight values and thinking systems that affect human existence and development and both cause us to want to change as well as giving us reasons not to.

“At each stage of human existence the adult is off on his quest of his holy grail, the way of life he seeks by which to live. As he sets off on each quest, he believes he will find the answer to his existence. Yet, much to his surprise and much to his dismay, he finds that as he solves one set of human problems he finds a new set in their place. The quest he finds is never ending.”

Dr. Clare W. Graves 1914 – 1986 

In the book “101 Days to Make a Change” Roy Leighton and his co-authors suggest that when we want to make changes, we may need to look at each of these levels and rather than ask “Where am I?” ask “Am I open or closed to change at this level?”

1. Survival – Getting the basics right. Are you waving or drowning?

2. Tribal – Who are your people? Do you make a positive impact on those around you?

3. Self – Who are you? What are your non-negotiable values?

4. Order – Are you building a life on solid foundations?

5. Enterprise – Are you moving forward with self knowledge?

6. Community – How can you deepen your relationships and build bonds?

7. Complexity – Do you see the bigger picture or always sweat the small stuff?

8. Holistic – Do you have an existential outlook?  Can you see the interconnectedness of everything?

If desire is the starting point of all achievement, self knowledge and the ability to change go hand in hand. Are you part of this never ending quest?

Next: Steps to Success #2. Self Belief is the Key to Success

More details of the The 12 Steps to Success can be found here

If you have any queries about this or the process of  making changes please leave a comment below or join the discussion on Linkedin http://lnkd.in/7AR7ex

So you’re passionate about your business. So what?

Yawning2 150x150 So youre passionate about your business. So what?

Being passionate about your business is a good thing – right?

I know lots of people who are passionate about their business. It’s a good thing and no more than I would expect from the people I mix with, given that most of them have chosen to do what they do.

However, I am constantly puzzled by the need that many folk have to “tell”  me they are passionate about their business. Maybe you are one of them.

Telling me you’re passionate doesn’t do a thing for me.

Would you tell me you are funny in order to make me laugh or say that you’re sexy in the hope I might introduce you to a friend looking for a fling? Would you start a business conversation by telling me you’re honest?

No? I thought not. So why tell me you’re passionate about what you do?

Do you think by declaring your passion that I’m more likely to buy from you?

Here’s a newsflash. I’m not – and neither is anyone else.

Your customers don’t care how you feel about your business

Actually no-one cares how you feel about your business. Its just not relevant. You could be bored to death by it but if you supply what people want at the right price they’ll buy it.

I understand the whole thing about buying decisions being emotional ones but its the customer’s emotions that are in the equation not yours. How you or your product makes them feel is important but will your declaration for being passionate affect their emotions?

No – and here’s why:

This is from Jeremy Marchant  http://www.emotionalintelligenceatwork.com I’ve edited his words slightly for context.

Jeremy says: ” …  it is a mistake to believe that, if you tell me how you are feeling, that is a conversation at a feelings level, at the level of emotions. It’s not. It is a rational, “thinking” conversation.

A description of how passionate you are about what you do is not an emotional experience for the listener. It is a factual monologue, which will have the inevitable consequence of keeping them in their thinking mode, NOT getting them into their feelings – in other words it precisely does what you don’t want it to do!

The way out of this impasse is … to convey your passion by HOW you talk. How you are. “

In other words, its better to let people see and feel how passionate you are than to tell them!

Getting people to connect with you on an emotional level is the key to any transaction but simply telling them how you feel doesn’t work.

Don’t tell me – show me

If you want me to buy from you, stop telling me you are passionate and start demonstrating your conviction that you have the solution to my needs.

Businesses are driven by process not by emotion

There are millions of businesses that make money without anyone investing any emotion into them. In some ways, its better to be detached and make the right decisions logically that to be so emotionally involved that your judgement is clouded.

Passion is a great thing to have in your life but it doesn’t have to be invested in a business in order to make money. Of course,  for some people, the ideal situation is to turn your passion into a way to make a living but there are those who prefer to keep them separate. The important thing is to recognise that what works for you and what works for the business may not always be the same thing.

Get More with Less

Getting more done with less stress, effort and frustration is what many business owners wish for.

At a recent presentation, Steve Hoare (Management by Reflection), explained why, if we want to grow a business, have a home life and enjoy what we do with the minimum of stress, it is important to spend our time doing the things we are good and learn to appreciate the contributions made by people who have different strengths to us.

To illustrate the point, members of the group were asked to put themselves into one of three groups that they most identified with while acknowledging that there may be some crossover.

The Blue Group identified most with the words:

Thinking, creative, problem solving, strategic, discerning, self starting, single minded.

The Yellow Group with:

Inclusive, mature, communicator, diplomatic, co-operative, enthusiastic

The Red Group with:

Challenging, dynamic, action, perfectionist, reliable, efficient, conscientious

Each group was given the same task and assigned an observer.

The idea was to show what happens when people with the same strengths work on a task, compared to when people with a whole range of strengths work together.

The result is that people adapt to fill the gaps but usually feel uncomfortable in these roles. This is OK for a short while (our experiment only lasted for ten minutes) but the longer it continues, the more the cracks begin to show.

The ensuing discussion focused on the importance of not seeing the absence of a particular type of behaviour as a weakness but on playing to people’s strengths.

It is equally important not to let the ‘weakness’ become a crutch or an excuse, e.g. “What do you expect? I’m this type of person not that type.”

In terms of identifying the people most likely to produce the best results we often look for skills first followed by personality but profiling the behaviours needed to complement a team can often improve the way everyone works and reduce the stress, frustration and effort while getting much more done in less time.

There is a huge amount of research that shows that we are really poor judges of others and relying on ‘gut instinct’ is the worst possible way to select people to work with.

When employing people, Steve recommends the Belbin Team Role profiling tool be used along with a suite of other tools for assessing personality and aptitude. Many tools on the market have no scientific validity so it is best to check this out and use an accredited practitioner to analyse the results.

Any double about the value / cost ratio will be quickly dispelled by a calculation of what it costs to make the wrong decision!

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Not letting people settle for less...
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