Author Archive
Thoughts become things – choosing the good ones
How true is it that thoughts become things?
A guest post from Dr Chris Thomas www.miltoncontact.co.uk
When Ann reminded me about her 2010 article “Thoughts do not become things” (http://goo.gl/SMabr) in a recent tweet, she was railing against those who use trite phrases to promise the earth such as “Thoughts become things – choose the good ones”. Ann was angry at the feelings of guilt caused by psycho-babble remedies that are the quackery of the modern age.
Yet, underlying the simplistic concept is a more complex, fascinating and surprising reality. It is a tale that weaves its way from the very origins of our humanity, via mental sex to survival in a hard business environment. I’d like to debate for “Thoughts become Things – choose the good ones”.
Physical thoughts
The ability to have thoughts is not unique to humans. There is even evidence that animals are capable of a higher level of thought – thinking about thinking (http://goo.gl/mNrK9). However, combined with language, we humans are able to take thinking to a more complex and abstract level.
Many of our internal thoughts are still related to our physical and emotional needs. In turn, our thoughts have physical effects on us. The most immediate are the subtle micro-expressions in conversation (try reading them yourself here http://goo.gl/Fpp5I).
Mind you, thoughts alone can create orgasmic experiences. Kim Airs is not unique in this (http://goo.gl/CWXpM) as other women and many hormonally-fired teenage boys can testify.
Optimism accounts for a 5 to 10 % difference in outcome such as cardiovascular disease, depression, cancer and are less likely to have or develop certain diseases over time (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optimism ). In cases where optimism does not appear to have an effect on health, it helps with coping strategies.
Abstract thoughts
We also have an incredible ability to build mental worlds. Mathematics and the sciences are logical constructs that try to make sense of our physical world. Euclid’s “Elements of Geometry” (http://goo.gl/b4a2t) or Darwin’s “On the Origin of Species” (http://goo.gl/8uXof) are just two examples of abstract thought put to paper.
Explosive thoughts
The most explosive effects of our thoughts are – when we share them with others. Our ideas are challenged, changed and evolved out there in the wider world – or they can die. Richard Dawkins coined the word “memes” for ideas, behaviours and styles that spread from person to person in our cultures (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meme ).
Thoughts also lead to actions. You are reading this article on a device that is the product of several thousand years of applied science and technology. On the flip side, the idea that women are not equal to men has disenfranchised half the population in significant parts of the globe.
Thoughts become things
Thoughts are such an integral part of us right from birth that our thoughts make us who we are. Because we are humans, our thoughts collectively make our environment, our society, our culture, our businesses.
Choose the good ones – What are they?
This is where I find myself back in partial agreement with Ann, because there are thoughts and there are thoughts. Here is my personal interpretation:
ñ There is no universal thought cure-all – but we can learn from the experience of others.
ñ A wish for something to happen is unlikely to work – but we can have our own aspirations or goals to strive for.
ñ Unpredictable bad things happen, whatever we think – but having our own flexible, positive coping strategies can help us recover faster.
Business Thoughts
Taking the subject to a more practical level. As businesses, our thoughts are realised in our products and services. We have a pretty prompt reality check – if our ideas do not work, we can be out of business!
The Inspired Group provides a forum for those of us who wish to grow and develop their businesses by sharing experiences and ideas. It is up to us which of our conscious thoughts become things – and choosing the good ones is a bespoke lifetime project for each one of us.
What do you think?
Chris Thomas www.miltoncontact.co.uk
Cupping, or how to break into a conversation
You’re at a networking meeting and you want to talk to someone who is in a tight knit little group.
What do you do?
Do you hover and hope one of them will spot you and let you in?
Do you interrupt the conversation?
Cupping* provides a neat solution.
Simply cup the elbow of anyone in the group. They will automatically turn towards you, giving the opportunity to smile winningly and say, “May I join you?”
(If you are a normal polite human being you will notice when someone is hovering and invite them to join in your conversation so this tactic should never be necessary.)
*Other forms of cupping are available.
How do you break into huddles at networking meetings?
What ‘s the most innovative way to use a great testimonial?
Liz Weston of Weston Communications had just received a great testimonial from a client and we were discussing innovative ways to use it, other than the obvious; ” stick on your website”.
Here are some ideas we came up with (some of them weren’t printable!)
Print it
Frame it
Hang it on the office wall
Paper the loo with it
Put it in your marketing pack
Have it tattooed on your arm
Have it printed on gift boxes and use them for client gifts
Have it printed on cup-cake papers and take them, with cakes, to your next networking event
What other ideas are there? Leave us your suggestions below!
Steps to Success 2: How does our self belief affect our chances of success?

If you have a burning desire to be, do or have something and you’re not working towards it, chances are you’re being held back by a lack of self belief.
Most successful people acknowledge that self belief plays a big part in their achievements. At a very superficial level this makes a lot of sense for why would anyone attempt something if they didn’t think they could succeed?
However, if this thought is carried to its logical conclusion it would mean that successful people never take any risks and this is clearly not the case.
Some of the most successful people I’ve met are those who, at some point in their lives, lost everything. They put their success down to the fact that they already know that if things go wrong, they will cope and come back to fight another day.
And yet, through lack of self belief, most people consistently choose unhappiness over uncertainty. You can prove this for yourself. Just ask everyone you know (including yourself)
“What would you do if you knew without doubt that you could not fail?”
Then ask, “So why aren’t you doing it?” The answer is always, “Because it MIGHT fail”
We do less than we could because what we fear most is our imagined failure.
People who have experienced real failure don’t fear it anymore. They know it won’t kill them.
There’s a lot of talk about what we learn from failure, but the real lesson, the most important lesson, is self belief. When there’s nothing else left – we learn to believe in ourselves.
If we only get confidence and self belief from our successes, we are out of luck when we fail. We need to get resilience and confidence from both success and failure.
The worst thing is letting this fear get the best of us and not even giving something a good shot and then ending up in between – not achieving what we want yet not completely failing, as we didn’t really try.
“We’re hoping to succeed; we’re okay with failure. We just don’t want to land in between.”
–David Chang
Go back to your own definition of success: When you are successful how will you ‘be’? What will you do? What will you have?
What is stopping you from being, doing and having what you want? Whatever it is, imagine for a moment that you’ve been given the wrong information; that the messages that imply that your endeavours will result in failure were really meant for someone else and that you should have got the one that said, “It doesn’t matter whether you succeed or fail, what matters is that you try. No harm will come to you from trying.”
Now go and make a start.
Whether you prefer the ubiquitous slogan “Just do it” or the more esoteric quote sometimes attributed to Goethe “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it”, please know that self belief grows from experiencing both success and failure and, safe in this knowledge, you can now go and build your self belief, your self confidence, your self esteem and your chances of success.
This is part two of our Steps to Success Series. A discussion on the subject can be found on LinkedIn here: http://lnkd.in/CpFtke Details of all the 12 Steps to Success can be found here
Steps to Success 1: Desire is the starting point
What is it you truly desire to be, do or have in your life?
Success means very different things to different people so the first step in achieving success has to be to decide what this means to you. Knowing where to put your focus and your efforts is crucial and a great help when it comes to making everyday decisions. A great exercise to get some clarity is in the preceding post “How to Create Your Best Year”
Can you complete these sentences?
When I am successful
I am (a state of being) ….
I do (activities) ….
I have (possessions) ….
It is safe to say that if you are not already being, doing and have what you desire, you are going to have to make some changes and this is where many of us run into trouble because we can’t change in isolation. As soon as we start to make changes we affect those around us and our environment and we often hit a brick wall and decide maybe its easier, safer, better to stay as we are. Exit our dreams and desires.
In the 1970’s Dr Clare Graves, expanding on the work of Maslow, developed a table of eight values and thinking systems that affect human existence and development and both cause us to want to change as well as giving us reasons not to.
“At each stage of human existence the adult is off on his quest of his holy grail, the way of life he seeks by which to live. As he sets off on each quest, he believes he will find the answer to his existence. Yet, much to his surprise and much to his dismay, he finds that as he solves one set of human problems he finds a new set in their place. The quest he finds is never ending.”
Dr. Clare W. Graves 1914 – 1986
In the book “101 Days to Make a Change” Roy Leighton and his co-authors suggest that when we want to make changes, we may need to look at each of these levels and rather than ask “Where am I?” ask “Am I open or closed to change at this level?”
1. Survival – Getting the basics right. Are you waving or drowning?
2. Tribal – Who are your people? Do you make a positive impact on those around you?
3. Self – Who are you? What are your non-negotiable values?
4. Order – Are you building a life on solid foundations?
5. Enterprise – Are you moving forward with self knowledge?
6. Community – How can you deepen your relationships and build bonds?
7. Complexity – Do you see the bigger picture or always sweat the small stuff?
8. Holistic – Do you have an existential outlook? Can you see the interconnectedness of everything?
If desire is the starting point of all achievement, self knowledge and the ability to change go hand in hand. Are you part of this never ending quest?
Next: Steps to Success #2. Self Belief is the Key to Success
More details of the The 12 Steps to Success can be found here
If you have any queries about this or the process of making changes please leave a comment below or join the discussion on Linkedin http://lnkd.in/7AR7ex
Get More with Less
Getting more done with less stress, effort and frustration is what many business owners wish for.
At a recent presentation, Steve Hoare (Management by Reflection), explained why, if we want to grow a business, have a home life and enjoy what we do with the minimum of stress, it is important to spend our time doing the things we are good and learn to appreciate the contributions made by people who have different strengths to us.
To illustrate the point, members of the group were asked to put themselves into one of three groups that they most identified with while acknowledging that there may be some crossover.
The Blue Group identified most with the words:
Thinking, creative, problem solving, strategic, discerning, self starting, single minded.
The Yellow Group with:
Inclusive, mature, communicator, diplomatic, co-operative, enthusiastic
The Red Group with:
Challenging, dynamic, action, perfectionist, reliable, efficient, conscientious
Each group was given the same task and assigned an observer.
The idea was to show what happens when people with the same strengths work on a task, compared to when people with a whole range of strengths work together.
The result is that people adapt to fill the gaps but usually feel uncomfortable in these roles. This is OK for a short while (our experiment only lasted for ten minutes) but the longer it continues, the more the cracks begin to show.
The ensuing discussion focused on the importance of not seeing the absence of a particular type of behaviour as a weakness but on playing to people’s strengths.
It is equally important not to let the ‘weakness’ become a crutch or an excuse, e.g. “What do you expect? I’m this type of person not that type.”
In terms of identifying the people most likely to produce the best results we often look for skills first followed by personality but profiling the behaviours needed to complement a team can often improve the way everyone works and reduce the stress, frustration and effort while getting much more done in less time.
There is a huge amount of research that shows that we are really poor judges of others and relying on ‘gut instinct’ is the worst possible way to select people to work with.
When employing people, Steve recommends the Belbin Team Role profiling tool be used along with a suite of other tools for assessing personality and aptitude. Many tools on the market have no scientific validity so it is best to check this out and use an accredited practitioner to analyse the results.
Any double about the value / cost ratio will be quickly dispelled by a calculation of what it costs to make the wrong decision!






