Archive for February 2012

Steps to Success 2: How does our self belief affect our chances of success?

16234 181932434219 510784219 3141398 5699641 n 150x150 Steps to Success 2: How does our self belief affect our chances of success?

 If you have a burning desire to be, do or have something and you’re not working towards it, chances are you’re being held back by a lack of self belief.

 

Most successful people acknowledge that self belief plays a big part in their achievements. At a very superficial level this makes a lot of sense for why would anyone attempt something if they didn’t think they could succeed? 

However, if this thought is carried to its logical conclusion it would mean that successful people never take any risks and this is clearly not the case.

Some of the most successful people I’ve met are those who, at some point in their lives, lost everything. They put their success down to the fact that they already know that if things go wrong, they will cope and come back to fight another day.

And yet, through lack of self belief, most people consistently choose unhappiness over uncertainty. You can prove this for yourself. Just ask everyone you know (including yourself)

“What would you do if you knew without doubt that you could not fail?”

Then ask, “So why aren’t you doing it?” The answer is always, “Because it MIGHT fail”

We do less than we could because what we fear most is our imagined failure. 

People who have experienced real failure don’t fear it anymore. They know it won’t kill them.

There’s a lot of talk about what we learn from failure, but the real lesson, the most important lesson, is self belief. When there’s nothing else left – we learn to believe in ourselves.

If we only get confidence and self belief from our successes, we are out of luck when we fail. We need to get resilience and confidence from both success and failure.

The worst thing is letting this fear get the best of us and not even giving something a good shot and then ending up in between – not achieving what we want yet not completely failing, as we didn’t really try. 

“We’re hoping to succeed; we’re okay with failure. We just don’t want to land in between.” 

–David Chang

Go back to your own definition of success: When you are successful how will you ‘be’? What will you do? What will you have?

What is stopping you from being, doing and having what you want? Whatever it is, imagine for a moment that you’ve been given the wrong information; that the messages that imply that your endeavours will result in failure were really meant for someone else and that you should have got the one that said, “It doesn’t matter whether you succeed or fail, what matters is that you try. No harm will come to you from trying.”

Now go and make a start.

Whether you prefer the ubiquitous slogan “Just do it” or the more esoteric quote sometimes attributed to Goethe “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it”, please know that self belief grows from experiencing both success and failure and, safe in this knowledge, you can now go and build your self belief, your self confidence, your self esteem and your chances of success. 

This is part two of our Steps to Success Series. A discussion on the subject can be found on LinkedIn here: http://lnkd.in/CpFtke Details of all the 12 Steps to Success can be found here

Step 1 Desire is the Starting Point to all Achievement

Steps to Success 1: Desire is the starting point

16234 181932199219 510784219 3141365 5036600 n 150x150 Steps to Success 1: Desire is the starting pointWhat is it you truly desire to be, do or have in your life?

Success means very different things to different people so the first step in achieving success has to be to decide what this means to you. Knowing where to put your focus and your efforts is crucial and a great help when it comes to making everyday decisions.  A great exercise to get some clarity is in the preceding post “How to Create Your Best Year” 

Can you complete these sentences?

When I am successful

I am (a state of being) ….

I do (activities) ….

I have (possessions) ….

It is safe to say that if you are not already being, doing and have what you desire, you are going to have to make some changes and this is where many of us run into trouble because we can’t change in isolation. As soon as we start to make changes we affect those around us and our environment and we often hit a brick wall and decide maybe its easier, safer, better to stay as we are. Exit our dreams and desires.

In the 1970’s Dr Clare Graves, expanding on the work of Maslow, developed a table of eight values and thinking systems that affect human existence and development and both cause us to want to change as well as giving us reasons not to.

“At each stage of human existence the adult is off on his quest of his holy grail, the way of life he seeks by which to live. As he sets off on each quest, he believes he will find the answer to his existence. Yet, much to his surprise and much to his dismay, he finds that as he solves one set of human problems he finds a new set in their place. The quest he finds is never ending.”

Dr. Clare W. Graves 1914 – 1986 

In the book “101 Days to Make a Change” Roy Leighton and his co-authors suggest that when we want to make changes, we may need to look at each of these levels and rather than ask “Where am I?” ask “Am I open or closed to change at this level?”

1. Survival – Getting the basics right. Are you waving or drowning?

2. Tribal – Who are your people? Do you make a positive impact on those around you?

3. Self – Who are you? What are your non-negotiable values?

4. Order – Are you building a life on solid foundations?

5. Enterprise – Are you moving forward with self knowledge?

6. Community – How can you deepen your relationships and build bonds?

7. Complexity – Do you see the bigger picture or always sweat the small stuff?

8. Holistic – Do you have an existential outlook?  Can you see the interconnectedness of everything?

If desire is the starting point of all achievement, self knowledge and the ability to change go hand in hand. Are you part of this never ending quest?

Next: Steps to Success #2. Self Belief is the Key to Success

More details of the The 12 Steps to Success can be found here

If you have any queries about this or the process of  making changes please leave a comment below or join the discussion on Linkedin http://lnkd.in/7AR7ex

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