The Role of Sex in Success
We all know that sex sells almost everything and that PR and Marketing people are always talking about making messages sexy.
This can only work because sex is something most of us find interesting. If it wasn’t interesting, none of these sexy messages would work on us.
For many people sex has become a dirty word; a powerful and entirely natural human instinct has been exploited and used to make money and in the process has been degraded and made to appear shameful. This leads to a conflict. Sex is something we can’t help but be interested in and yet in most ‘polite’ societies it is not generally acknowledged as anything linked openly to success.
In the 1930s Napoleon Hill interviewed 500 of the most successful multi-millionaires in America. He found that people who create success have many things in common, one of which is a high sex drive, but the really interesting thing is how they described the extra edge this gave them.
Instead of using this most powerful of human drives simply as nature intended, these successful people all said that they were able to transmute its power into a creative force that helped them to produce and action ideas that in many instances made their fortunes.
While a high sex drive may or may not lead to determined action it is widely acknowledged that castration has the opposite effect in most species.
Controlling our urges
Sex and Money AdamHawkins anodizeproductions.com
Most of us have heard the debates about whether sports coaches allow their stars to have sex before a game or a match, many believing that the energy and passion associated with having sex can be transmuted and give their subjects a winning edge. While there is no conclusive proof that this happens, what is interesting is the discipline associated with not simply giving in to passions but in channelling thoughts and actions to a desired outcome.
Napoleon Hill cites George Washington, Napoleon Bonaparte, William Shakespeare, Abraham Lincoln, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Robert Burns, Thomas Jefferson, Oscar Wilde, Woodrow Wilson, Andrew Jackson and Enrico Caruso as examples of people with a high sex drive who used it to great creative effect if not always in the disciplined way the subjects of his study describe.
The attitudes we have to sex in today’s media frenetic society may explain why not many high achievers in the modern world are keen to attribute their success to the same source but it is easy to find examples where the same drive that leads to great creativity is also used in a destructive fashion and families, businesses, fortunes and even countries have been destroyed as a result.
Sexy by Adam hawkins http://anodizeproductions.com
Women’s sexuality
Hill’s observation that the way women use their sex drive primarily to influence men is very controversial in the 21st Century and there are lots of double standards and hypocrisy about women’s sexuality. There are more examples of high achieving women now than when Napoleon Hill interviewed the subjects of his study but still no where the same number as high achieving men. Most studies suggest that this is more likely to be a result of social, political and economic factors than anything to do with sex drive or ambition.
Despite the fact that the media seems intent on reporting that high achieving women have miserable relationships and disappointing sex lives, these reports are not supported by any real evidence. One recent piece of research that proves just the opposite is a study of 500 couples that found that the highest levels of sexual satisfaction were among couples who both worked and experienced high rewards from their jobs.
If success is intricately linked to transmuting a high sex drive into taking action to bring creative ideas into being, how can it be used by a wide range of people? Given that sex is the most powerful driver in most human beings and most of the time is controlled rather than given free rein, we must all be transmuting our sex drive in some way. Perhaps the fascination with celebrity sex lives and soap operas is simply a voyeuristic way of indulging what we deny ourselves.
Sex and Creativity
Play by Adam Hawkins AnodizeProductions.com
Creative expression takes many forms and is another way of transmuting this powerful force but whether it is in creating a garden, an empire or a fortune there is no doubt that it is there for us to use and the only difference is in scale and both talent and ambition are an essential part of this.
So, the key to using sex as part of our formula for success is, as in most other things, discipline. Unfortunately, this had become another dirty word to many and history is littered with stories of successful and creative people who destroyed themselves because they lost control and allowed sudden passions to overtake their better judgement. The successful people that Hill interviewed all knew how to control their thoughts and desires and they consistently used all of their resources to take them closer to their goals.
To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded. (Poem often attributed to Emerson but most likely to have been written by Bessie Stanley)
What do YOU think? Is the ability to use our sex drive creatively a major part of success in today’s world? Leave a comment below – I’d love to hear some other opinions on this.
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The other common factors in success that Napoleon Hill identified are:
- Define your sense of purpose and all-consuming goal
- Create the self confidence and belief that you can achieve what you desire
- Acquire the specialized knowledge that will achieve your goal
- Outwit the ghosts of fear
- Make practical use of your imagination
- Use organised planning to put desire into action
- Master procrastination and make decisions
- Develop persistence and overcome obstacles
- Acquire and learn how to use power
- Understand the role of sex in success
- Learn how to control the subconscious mind
- Develop your sixth sense to avoid dangers and grasp opportunities.
Posted in 12 Steps to Success | 
Tags: 1930s, Abraham Lincoln, Andrew Jackson, Bright Lights, Castration, Conclusive Proof, Creative Force, Debates, Desired Outcome, Dirty Word, Enrico Caruso, Fortunes, George Washington, Having Sex, High Achievers, High Sex Drive, Instances, Many Things, Millionaires In America, Napoleon, Napoleon Bonaparte, Napoleon Hill, Natural Human Instinct, Oscar Wilde, Passions, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Robert Burns, S Media, Sex And Money, Sex Game, Sexy Messages, Thomas Jefferson, Washin, William Shakespeare, Winning Edge, Woodrow Wilson
No sex please, we're British. A relaxed and open attitude to sex and personal energy certainly opens up to more fun; and not just physical fun. Being in touch with your "self" and allowing others to connect is so vital to letting the true you flourish and then everyone is happier. There are still some people who really do think that babies are delivered by stalks! The best people I know still go a bit red in the face when sex comes up but they celebrate the love and the fun in that emotion and this is my point - being emotionally connected in your life is fun and rewarding.
Isn't the quality of a relationship the thing that determines if you are getting enough or not? For some people this might be 3 times a day, for others 3 times a month, the point is that being felt attractive enough to want that person to want to have sex with you 'rubs' off. If you feel attractive, you glow, you buzz, you switch on. Sex is never enough. It's love that provides that final spark that makes a person at one with themselves. It begins with love of the self and if you are really lucky you get love, and sex, from someone else. As in 'Jerry Maguire' - you are complete. Not from the acceptance of another, but from the combined feelings of yourself, them and sometimes those in your circle of influence.
Brilliantly put Andy. The personal confidence you mention is what creates charisma and an essential part of that is about caring for other people and how you make them feel. A charismatic person will always make people feel good and will never overstep the mark because they are truly engaged with the other person and are disciplined enough to know where to draw the line. I don't think this necessarily stems from getting 'enough' sex but from the quality of the relationship(s) that provide it!
I've been meaning to reply to this for a while. I can't believe how shocked people are when I mention sex in any talk I do. For me it's the power of seduction that is so alluring. How many blokes spend the first few minutes of a networking event eyeing up the best looking women? Indeed, how many women do the same - for the blokes presumably. Sex is what drives many thoughts/emotions/feelings. Those that get enough are sexually confident - something that filters down to their personal confidence. People who aren't getting any are often lacking that 'cheekiness' that makes a person fun, a flirt, someone interesting to talk to. Someone recently said to me 'Men always think about sex, I don't' she claimed. To which I thought 'Of course you don't - you're a bloody mess, who is going to be interested?' Sexual confidence helps you to take a pride in your appearance - it builds a desire to feel good and look good. This often means better food, working out and building the immune system. Sexual confidence, and activity, improves serotonin production which builds a happier mood, more mental stimulation and yet again, a better immune system. When you are confident people of both sexes respond to you in a positive way and the law of attraction attracts you to the type of people that you want to work with. Overt sexuality can be off putting for some people - I've seen it for males and females. I think there's a time and a place for everything, but delivered with and/or passion and humour you can often get away with a little more. For me sex, passion, flirting, having fun and enjoying business all come in the same boat (if you excuse the pun). I also recognise that there is a fine line between sexy and sleazy and you have to be careful, but I'll never be one to ignore the feelings that are out there.
It's true a lot of my patients who see me for one thing or another often have High sex drives they are successful business owners. They also display a high level of intellegence and ambition. Perhaps they all do in fact go hand in hand. The photo's are great.
That's interesting Graham. How do you know they've got high sex drives? Do they talk about it? Thanks for comments on Adam's photo's - I'll pass it on.
Fantastic event! I've been hearing abour Inspired Events for a very long time and have been unable to attend one, until this month. The speaker was great, the event was very well organised and I've just been sent the pictures - very flattering! I was impressed with the speakers way of interpreting the way we work in life and the way sex has a huge influence! Roll on next month Ann....... I would recommend this event to anyone who is serious about their business.
Thanks Kelly. You're an asset to any event too. A very professional networker with a great personality - what more could we ask? You are always welcome (and you'll LOVE Clive Gott!)
What an interesting point! As an older woman I feel I have much more freedom and much more equality than when I was younger. My power comes from a different source now.
Personally I feel being a woman in a business surrounded by fellas is often an advantage rather than disadvantage ( and often quite amusing). Sexual recognition from others creates a power of its own, problem is women tend to be scared or threatened by it or by using it. Whilst it can have its drawbacks, in that you can spend a LOT of time having to prove yourself-especially to 'alpha' males. When you do, they tend to respect you big time. Really its just a tool like any other and confidence is the key to using it properly ( in my humble opinion!).
