Archive for February 2010

The Role of Sex in Success

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We all know that sex sells almost everything and that PR and Marketing people are always talking about making messages sexy.

This can only work because sex is something most of us find interesting. If it wasn’t interesting, none of these sexy messages would work on us.

For many people sex has become a dirty word; a powerful and entirely natural human instinct has been exploited and used to make money and in the process has been degraded and made to appear shameful. This leads to a conflict. Sex is something we can’t help but be interested in and yet in most ‘polite’ societies it is not generally acknowledged as anything linked openly to success.

In the 1930s Napoleon Hill interviewed 500 of the most successful multi-millionaires in America. He found that people who create success have many things in common, one of which is a high sex drive, but the really interesting thing is how they described the extra edge this gave them.

Instead of using this most powerful of human drives simply as nature intended, these successful people all said that they were able to transmute its power into a creative force that helped them to produce and action ideas that in many instances made their fortunes.

While a high sex drive may or may not lead to determined action it is widely acknowledged that castration has the opposite effect in most species.

Controlling our urges

DSC 0013 copy1 The Role of Sex in Success

Sex and Money AdamHawkins anodizeproductions.com

Most of us have heard the debates about whether sports coaches allow their stars to have sex before a game or a match, many believing that the energy and passion associated with having sex can be transmuted and give their subjects a winning edge. While there is no conclusive proof that this happens, what is interesting is the discipline associated with not simply giving in to passions but in channelling thoughts and actions to a desired outcome.

Napoleon Hill cites George WashingtonNapoleon BonaparteWilliam ShakespeareAbraham LincolnRalph Waldo EmersonRobert BurnsThomas JeffersonOscar WildeWoodrow WilsonAndrew Jackson and Enrico Caruso as examples of people with a high sex drive who used it to great creative effect if not always in the disciplined way the subjects of his study describe.

The attitudes we have to sex in today’s media frenetic society may explain why not many high achievers in the modern world are keen to attribute their success to the same source but it is easy to find examples where the same drive that leads to great creativity is also used in a destructive fashion and families, businesses, fortunes and even countries have been destroyed as a result.

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Sexy by Adam hawkins http://anodizeproductions.com

Women’s sexuality

Hill’s observation that the way women use their sex drive primarily to influence men is very controversial in the 21st Century and there are lots of double standards and hypocrisy about women’s sexuality. There are more examples of high achieving women now than when Napoleon Hill interviewed the subjects of his study but still no where the same number as high achieving men. Most studies suggest that this is more likely to be a result of social, political and economic factors than anything to do with sex drive or ambition.

Despite the fact that the media seems intent on reporting that high achieving women have miserable relationships and disappointing sex lives, these reports are not supported by any real evidence. One recent piece of research that proves just the opposite is a study of 500 couples that found that the highest levels of sexual satisfaction were among couples who both worked and experienced high rewards from their jobs.

If success is intricately linked to transmuting a high sex drive into taking action to bring creative ideas into being, how can it be used by a wide range of people? Given that sex is the most powerful driver in most human beings and most of the time is controlled rather than given free rein, we must all be transmuting our sex drive in some way. Perhaps the fascination with celebrity sex lives and soap operas is simply a voyeuristic way of indulging what we deny ourselves.


Sex and Creativity

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Play by Adam Hawkins AnodizeProductions.com

Creative expression takes many forms and is another way of transmuting this powerful force but whether it is in creating a garden, an empire or a fortune there is no doubt that it is there for us to use and the only difference is in scale and both talent and ambition are an essential part of this.

So, the key to using sex as part of our formula for success is, as in most other things, discipline. Unfortunately, this had become another dirty word to many and history is littered with stories of successful and creative people who destroyed themselves because they lost control and allowed sudden passions to overtake their better judgement. The successful people that Hill interviewed all knew how to control their thoughts and desires and they consistently used all of their resources to take them closer to their goals.


To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded. (Poem often attributed to Emerson but most likely to have been written by Bessie Stanley)

What do YOU think? Is the ability to use our sex drive creatively a major part of success in today’s world? Leave a comment below – I’d love to hear some other opinions on this.

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The other common factors in success that Napoleon Hill identified are:

  • Define your sense of purpose and all-consuming goal
  • Create the self confidence and belief that you can achieve what you desire
  • Acquire the specialized knowledge that will achieve your goal
  • Outwit the ghosts of fear
  • Make practical use of your imagination
  • Use organised planning to put desire into action
  • Master procrastination and make decisions
  • Develop persistence and overcome obstacles
  • Acquire and learn how to use power
  • Understand the role of sex in success
  • Learn how to control the subconscious mind
  • Develop your sixth sense to avoid dangers and grasp opportunities.

Thoughts do not become things


web1 300x248 Thoughts do not become things

Deception by Adam Hawkins http://anodizeproductions.com

“Thoughts become things – choose the good ones”

This ‘quote’ although well meaning, emanates from sloppy thinking and often creates the opposite effect to what was intended.

It is of course intended convey the idea that we can control our thoughts and that in any given situation we can choose the thoughts that are most useful to us at that time.

However, reducing a complex message to a trite ‘quotable’ line leaves it open to misinterpretation.

Thoughts, as and of themselves, do not become things. Even thoughts that are repeated many times a day do not become things.

  • How many times does a teenage boy think about having sex and how many times does it happen?
  • How many times does a parent think about their child having a tragic accident and how many times does it happen?
  • How many times does someone in debt think about winning the lottery and how many times does it happen?

In some cases these thoughts are accompanied by vivid visualisations, a technique that most ‘positive thinking’ gurus will tell us is almost guaranteed to turn the thought into reality. It doesn’t.

In most cases there is no harm done other than a waste of time and most people quickly realise that simply thinking about something does not manifest it. However, what if someone’s child really did have a tragic accident? What if someone is diagnosed with cancer and despite all thinking and visualisation about the cancer disappearing, it doesn’t?

What happens when these people read trite comments like ‘Thoughts Become Things” and “What you think about is what you get ” and “Your life is a result of the way you think”?

Guilt – that’s what happens.

To add to their troubles these folk now have to cope with the idea that they have brought their misfortunes on themselves and that if only they were able to control their thoughts they wouldn’t have to face the tradgedies that have resulted from them.

This is of course, utter rubbish. We can control our thoughts and day by day choose those that result in positive emotions. We can choose to be offended or ignore a chance remark made by a friend. We can choose to believe the newspaper reports that create fear and anxiety and  instead believe that most people are fair and honest. We can choose to believe that we are worth loving and have lots to offer the world even when teachers and parents tell us otherwise. We can choose how we react when tragedy strikes and give meaning to lives that are lost. Our beliefs and values – not to mention the action we take – play a huge part in this and so thoughts alone are not enough to make things happen.

What we can’t control is the randomness of bad things happening and this, I believe, is why most people buy into the idea that if only we learn how to  turn thoughts into things we can avoid pain and lead charmed lives. It simply isn’t helpful.

Once we realise that bad stuff happens randomly – even to people who think only good thoughts, and that we have absolutely NO control over anything but the way we choose to react to it we can stop  wasting time on trying to think our way to a better life and instead work out how to be , do and have the things we really want, safe in the knowledge that whatever happens along the way, however painful, we WILL be able to deal with it.

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